


SpongeBob: Infection

by WalrusAtHeart



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants - Fandom
Genre: Disturbing Themes, Drama, Drug Use, Gore, Horror, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, Non-Canon Personalities, Screenplay/Script Format, Suggestive Themes, Survival, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 09:57:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3442910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WalrusAtHeart/pseuds/WalrusAtHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A script-fic based around the main group of characters in SpongeBob attempting to survive when a rapidly-mutating zombie virus breaks out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Episode 1: Virus

\---NOTE: The character's personalities have been altered somewhat in order to fulfil the story's specifications. SpongeBob is less immature and naive than his personality in the series, but still portrays these traits to an extent, Patrick has been changed so that he is not traditionally stupid, and is only so through his indecision and egotism, and Mr. Krabs is also an alcoholic as well as addicted to money.---

SPONGEBOB: INFECTION  
EPISODE I: VIRUS.

 

(Cold opening. As the camera zooms at hurtling speed across the bustling streets of Bikini Bottom, the off-screen voice of SpongeBob speaks)  
SpongeBob: Bikini Bottom... where the algae's always greener. Or so it was, before the Infection struck and tore our lives apart, leaving the algae a blood-flecked brown, forever lined with the bodies of friends and foes alike. These days, it's all about survival of the fittest. Remain prepared at all costs, the less seriously you take life, the more horrors will come your path. (The camera jarringly pans to the ground, showing a green, arthropodous, larger-than-normal insect with unsettlingly large fangs pacing towards a female fish sitting on a park bench, scanning through her purse) This is the bite that started it all, shaped what life would come to be. (The insect extraordinarily leaps at the fish, jaws spread wide, and latches onto her arm. As she yells, SpongeBob continues his monologue.) Bikini Bottom back then, (the scene fast-forwards to show a deserted, burning street with zombies trudging through the scenery) Bikini Bottom now. Sad how such a developed civilization went to waste so quickly. You know, I'm feeling nostalgic today. How about I tell my story like it is, from the very start? This is my life, my struggle, my cry for help in a silent world.  
(Fade to black, and theme song plays)  
(Cut to a wide shot of the outside of a nightclub. A caption at the bottom of the screen states: BIKINI BOTTOM - TWO DAYS BEFORE INFECTION. Close-up on the door as Mr. Krabs walks up to it, a gaggle of girls following him. He opens it, revealing a brightly lit, flashy disco with loud dance music playing, fish rambunctiously dancing, and alcoholic drinks being served aplenty. Walking in, he fumbles through his pocket and reaches for a dollar bill, grabs it and holds it up in the air.)  
Mr. Krabs: Ladies, the Krab's all here! (the female fish seductively dance around him. Mr. Krabs ignores the groupies circling around him and orders a drink.)  
Bartender: How may I assist you?  
Mr. Krabs: I'd like your strongest brew.  
Bartender: Let me see, I've got (he turns around to face the cascade of drinks behind him) Flaming Tongue Vodka, Super-Strength Scotch, and our trademark cocktail, the one-and-only (quiet) Hell's Dame.  
Mr. Krabs: Dibs on the Hell's Dame. (He throws the dollar bill, which lands neatly in the bartender's hand)  
Bartender: Here's your change, here's your cocktail, enjoy your drunkenness. (a bright red cocktail with blue froth and peaches around it is given to him, along with a small amount of money) Just consult me if you want more! I'm fluent in slurred speech!  
(Mr. Krabs walks over to a chair, gently sipping his drink, cradling it like a child.)  
Mr. Krabs: Money and alcohol - the cause of - and solution to - all the world's problems.  
(Patrick walks by and sits on the spot next to Krabs.)  
Patrick: Hey, Krabby my boy, what's going on?  
Mr. Krabs: Nothing that's worth a damn. Just binge drinking and sexual conquests.  
Patrick: Business as usual. (pauses) Not exactly for me, but for you. I'm often hailed as the life of the party, but I don't go to the extremes as much as you do.  
Mr. Krabs: Don't you see, Pat? I've tried to get out of this downward spiral for too long now, but no matter what consultants, rehab workers, friends, family say, I just can't give it up. I feel as if I'm only a pawn in the game they call life.  
Patrick: You know what they say? Money is the root of all evil. If your conscience hadn't been stolen by currency, I'd say you'd be living a whole different lifestyle.  
Mr. Krabs: Your lectures about moderation honestly aren't helping. I came to party, not wallow in my own self-pity.  
Patrick: It was kinda you who brought up the subject, it's not completely my fault.  
Mr. Krabs: I guess you're right. But, I guess I'll see ya round. This is a club after all, and I'm assigned to my... erm, duties. (quickly chugs down Hell's Dame and runs back to the bartender.)  
Patrick: (talking to himself in a contemplative state) I can't be the only sober one in this place. (the scene pans out to reveal everyone around him drinking) Should I just sit here, or should I join in with these morally gray antics? Okay, I'll... no. Should I... Ah, dammit. Don't wanna seem uncool. Wait, but didn't I swear sobriety? (cups his hands on head. Suddenly, the televisions in the room switch on, and a flashing sign stating "BREAKING NEWS" is present on each one. The scene zooms in on the TV, where a bearded announcer sits.)  
News Announcer: Today, on Bikini Bottom News, a mysterious death has struck our streets. A female fish who will remain unnamed for this report, has been found dead in her home, (an image of a fish with a pixelated face appears) with signs of a never-before-seen illness. It's only been two hours, but already mass hysteria akin to the previous, disproved Mad Snail Disease (the image changes to a screen saying Contagion: Bikini Bottom) is splitting up families, closing stores, destroying lives... but this time it's not a hoax. An anchovy, who will be named "Subject F" for privacy purposes, and has had recent contact with the newly-deceased fish, has already displayed signs of a soon-to-be contagion. Lock your doors, wear full-body suits, remove all contact with known infected... just do anything to survive. (he pulls out a gun from his suitcase, aims it at his head, and the screen cuts to red then black. Cut back to the club. The lights all of a sudden switch off, and quarantine officers wearing full-body suits run in.  
Quarantine Officer 1: Everybody, get out!  
(The crowd run out of the bar, screaming, except for several drowsy drunks, who continue to stumble around, oblivious to the goings-on.)  
Quarantine Officer 2: You hear me? GET THE HELL OUT!  
(Mr. Krabs collapses on the floor, while the others still fumble around)  
Quarantine Officer 1: Listen, drunkards? If you don't get out of here this instant, we'll be using force.  
(Nobody budges, and the officers start shoving the drunks out of the door. Once they are all gone, they put a sign on the door stating "Under Quarantine - Do Not Enter")  
SpongeBob (narrating): The next two days were hell on earth. Terror had overtaken the populace, causing insanity to spread like the prospective disease. Living in your worst nightmare would pale in comparison to the hysteria going on. Anyway, this is where I come in. (a swift zoom to SpongeBob standing outside his pineapple. Wind blows, fish run around screaming, and fire envelops much of the scenery. A hooded octopus sprays graffiti reading Judgment Day onto Patrick's rock, as SpongeBob idly watches in horror. He approaches the hooded fish, pulling down his hood to reveal a pink, shocked Squidward-esque face)  
SpongeBob: What are you doing to Patrick's house?  
Octopus: Don't you see the carnage taking place around you?  
SpongeBob: Why, yes, I do, and you, sir, are only contributing to it.  
Octopus: Word must be spread that judgment has finally come, and that only those with pure souls will successfully climb the stairway to Heaven, and achieve enlightenment and peace. Those who have committed unforgivable sin in their lives will be cast down in Earth to live their worst nightmares eternally.  
SpongeBob: I may be naive at the best of times, but I'm not believing your bullshit propaganda! You live or you die, simple as.  
Octopus: Oh, but there's far more to this than you think. You may as well just die on the spot, because I assure you, life will get a whole lot worse if you survive. Take Hell, turn the dial up to eleven, and, voila! You've got the future Earth!  
SpongeBob: How can you predict this? You're just a simple octopod, who just happens to follow a religious faith. You never know, after this disease has taken its toll, a new and better world order could rise. Or, as you said, the world could plunge into chaos, which is all the most likely option. I'm not doubting there's a possibility to what you've just said, there sure could be, but don't go acting like you know everything when you don't. I've let wrong predictions get the best of me, and when you're shunned for your beliefs, passed off as a false prophet, that's when life loses all meaning.  
Octopus: I see where you're coming from, but the end is nigh. I feel it in my bones. I know that after this plague of fear is over, a plague of something even more horrible is going to come its way.  
SpongeBob: I could live what could be my last few days on this planet wracked with guilt and terror, and frankly, it's hard not to. But life is a precious thing, and if you make it worth it, it can be worth it, even when bodies are falling to the floor around you, and your most trusted allies have gone off the deep end.  
Octopus: Goodbye. I have no business speaking with a man who disbelieves what's already scrawled in the prophesies. In case you change your shallow mind, and choose to speak with me again to gain more insight into what's happening around you, I am Father Edward, leader of the Nightcallers.  
(He walks off, allowing SpongeBob to be in quasi-peace. He gets ready to have a stroll, but then he sees Patrick running, petrified, coming towards him. Patrick stops when he comes right up close to SpongeBob. We see an over-the-shoulder shot of Patrick blankly staring at SpongeBob in shock. After a few seconds, he breaks down in SpongeBob's arms, crying for the imminent future.)  
SpongeBob: Patrick... I know the news is terrible... so many lives are going to be lost, but there's always a bright side to things.  
Patrick: You don't understand. I've seen the movies, the symptoms that these people are getting... boils, rotting flesh, loss of mind... it all seems like a zombie apocalypse to me.  
SpongeBob: Yes, seems strange. Your theories are never really too sound, but this one seems horrifyingly genuine. Looking back at some of the images leaked on the Internet of the cases, this seems very clear... but it can't be. Zombies are regarded as movie monsters, they shouldn't be real. (pauses) I don't know what to think.  
Patrick: Did you see those crazy cultists marching across the streets? The Night-something, I think they called themselves.  
(SpongeBob gasps)  
SpongeBob: Nightcallers. The leader came up to your rock and sprayed graffiti on it. Something about Judgment Day, the day of reckoning... the Apocalypse.  
Patrick: I saw a whole group of them.  
SpongeBob: Really?  
Patrick: Just come with me. I'll show you what has become of the once-wonderful Bikini Bottom.  
(The two embark on a stroll through Bikini Bottom. As they go, they pass through such sights as fish who have succumbed to the disease writhing on the floor, convulsing, crazed townspeople in hysterics lighting buildings on fire, picking random fights, and spraying graffiti, Nightcallers and quarantine officers wandering through the streets, and one diseased person hobbling around with one arm spread wide, the other missing)  
Patrick: It's one of... th-th-them.  
SpongeBob: Oh my God. Sadly, I suspect you're right.  
(The 'zombie' holds its arm up in the air, letting out an unintelligible moan. Patrick turns away, disgusted, his cheeks puffed out as if he's about to vomit.)  
Patrick: I just can't look at that thing, that sad caricature of a respectable sea creature. I wish I had a weapon on my hands, so I could just put it out of its misery. (Tears well up in his eyes)  
(The two continue walking until they discover a gang of white-suited scientists, who are having an argument with Sandy and Squidward)  
Sandy (anger in her voice): Just take a look around and see what's happenin' around you! Just indulge in your self-indulgent snobbery while other people die in agony, you assholes!  
Scientist: We have filled out a study that disproves existence of this disease. Under our medical guidelines, this is just a highly advanced flu, that will kill on occasions, and will damn right spread, but comes and goes. This is not some, paraphrasing your fantastical, idiotic words, "zombie virus". It is either a dangerous flu or an outbreak of food poisoning.  
Squidward: Just listen to me for one second, you skeptic. Just look at that, for lack of a better word, zombie, behind you. That couldn't have been caused by a goddamned flu, could it?  
Scientist 2: We are proficient in the field of scientific discovery and knowledge, and know more about disease than you ever will. If you do not listen to us, you will be clinging to a falsehood. Now, now, we wouldn't want that. A little, sad, sad, outcast, crying over a so-called zombie apocalypse that will most likely have run its course in the next few days.  
Sandy: You ain't done nothin' but cause a ruckus! Why don't you just fess up and admit that you're just lullin' people into a false sense of security, so that they're unprepared for death? Go ahead on, admit it. (she pulls an enraged face and draws her fists)  
Scientist: Come on, resort to that karate nonsense. We've studied viruses that, if we let loose, could leave you scattered bones in the space of two seconds.  
Squidward: How incredibly mature, threatening the logical and correctly-thinking with death. If I were you, I'd just quit your publicity stunt. As Sandy correctly stated, do we want people to be unready for their possibly inevitable death?  
(A third scientist empties his bag to grab a jar filled with swarming, large, red-and-yellow paramecium.)  
Scientist 3: It's not a threat, it's a will-be. These babies we broke the laws of science to create. Anybody who disagrees with our points of view will simply be obliterated. Buzz. Snap. Ahhh! Gone.  
Sandy (sarcastically): Oh, avoid an alternate viewpoint or die? Wonderful way of thinking! That disease that's spreading around and killin' everyone slowly is a mere flu, and everything's gonna be alright in the next few days! (angry again) I think everyone whose families have been torn apart, whose days are numbered, whose minds have been ravaged by hysteria should certainly follow your example! Also, tell that to the zombie over there. I'm sure he'll appreciate your skepticism, dang-nabbit!  
(The two quickly skate away and hide in a street corner, panting and sweating. The scientists slowly twist open the jar, but stop.)  
Scientist 2: I think the coast is clear. Move along.  
(Walking away, SpongeBob and Patrick come to discuss matters with Sandy and Squidward.)  
SpongeBob: What was that hubbub all about?  
Squidward: Oh, just some self-righteous scientists who are trying to pass this whole epidemic off as a flu.  
Sandy: Oh yeah, and they also tried to kill us with some specially-bred viruses. If I didn't know better, I'd say they released this plague into Bikini Bottom.  
SpongeBob: If they've been meddling with science to create those monstrosities, who says they couldn't have started this whole catastrophe? You don't need to say "if I didn't know better", this could be a rational explanation for the whole thing. But isn't it strange that I haven't seen any of these entities, the Nightcallers and whatever those scientists call themselves, until now?  
Sandy: Actually, back durin' my time in Texas, I had close contact with that group. The SBAC, they called themselves. Scientific and Biological Advances Committee. Now, since fish can't live on dry land, I'd never actually met them in person. We only knew each other through phone calls.  
Squidward: And since you've never actually seen them in person, how do you know these are members of the SBAC?  
Sandy: As they walked away, I noticed that there was a very familiar logo on the scientists' backs. Looked a bit like a potion being poured onto a sideways coat of arms. After a lil' bit of thinking, I recalled seeing it on dossiers, letters, leaflets, et cetera, that the SBAC sent me.  
Patrick: Sounds like suspicious business. I've never heard of these guys.  
Sandy: I was suspecting you wouldn't know about them. They keep silent about their business, and often take a second job to hide their support of the agency. For years, they've been notorious among the whole of the atoll for their dirty deeds, all performed in the name of science. They've bred deadly diseases, were responsible for many cases of vivisection, created the nuclear test site that exploded ninety-five years ago... all sorts of horrible things. The BBBI, the police force... they've never got round to stopping their business, as they're located in the deepest, darkest, most secret region of Bikini Bottom.  
SpongeBob: You've had contact with inherent evil?  
Sandy: Back then, I didn't know it. I just thought they were an average science agency. It was only when they began to reveal more information about themselves in their many forms of contact with me that I realized the severity of what I had done trustin' them... givin' out my personal information to them. Maybe that's why they targeted me just then.  
Patrick: Why have they suddenly revealed themselves just now, then?  
Sandy: If it was them who created the disease, they could be attempting to create a diversion so nobody knows about it. Or, simply, they could just be abandoning all sense of secrecy, because of the impending doom that is set to befall us all. It's better to let people know in their dying moments, so they don't go searching for an answer.  
Squidward: Makes sense. But, how one can create a disease of this scale is beyond comprehension. There's often explanation for abhorrent acts, but why would anyone do such a thing?  
Sandy: Why would anyone do such a thing? Remember, we have no evidence that the SBAC had anything to do with this.  
Patrick: If they have, the writing's on the wall though.  
SpongeBob: Explaining the unexplainable never works. We can do as much guesswork as we want, but we'll never find out the true origin of this... this infection.  
(The gang continue their stroll around Bikini Bottom with the addition of Sandy and Squidward, until Sandy stops at a disturbing sight, which the others only partially see. Two zombies are dragging Nancy Suzy Fish along the street by her flippers, as she screams in terror, waving her arms around for something to grab on to. One of the zombies bites her leg as blood sprays out of the wound.)  
Sandy (crying): If the SBAC could see this... (suddenly the light in her eyes changes, and she tightens her muscles, poised for an attack. The zombies are continuing to make a bloody mockery of Nancy's torso, and as they stop to take a fleshy bite, Sandy charges and attacks, knocking out the first zombie's teeth with a single punch. The zombie falls onto the ground, and Sandy continues punching it, until her hands are sticky with fresh blood. It gets off the ground, to flee from the scene of the battle, and the other zombie brainlessly follows, groaning. Sandy comes up to the scene of the carnage, where the fish lies, and picks her up.)  
Nancy: Hey... old friend. Been a long time... since I've seen you... but honestly... I doubt you wanted... to see me like... this...  
(Sandy places her hand over a large wound on Nancy's belly)  
Sandy: I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry.  
Nancy: It's... okay. There's nothing... you could do... anyway. This... was written... in the stars.  
(she looks up at the sky, and stops breathing. Sandy shuts her eyes, and lightly places her on the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. SpongeBob races towards her, however the rest continue to hide, fearing what they'll see.)  
SpongeBob: What's happened? (looks down at body) Ohhh... I can't bear it anymore. I have a serious question to ask, Sandy.  
Sandy (holding back tears): What, what is it? Can't you see I'm in mourning?  
SpongeBob: Are our lives really worth it? We've tried so hard to get where we were, and then suddenly this epidemic comes and destroys our hope... and there sure won't be anymore where that came from. I feel like the scale of what's on our hands hasn't even fully begun yet. Wouldn't death be the best option in times like these?  
Sandy: Death's the easy way out. If we manage to survive in this period, we could raise a new world order from the ashes, be eternally commended as heroes, gain inconceivable amounts of riches...  
SpongeBob: Is money and fame really worth it? It can twist even the most stable person, make them snap like a twig. Just look at what it did to Mr. Krabs - from a respectable restaurant owner to an alcoholic pimp.  
(The two stand silently for a second and walk back to the other members of the gang.)  
Patrick: Sandy, are you okay? There's so much blood on you; I can't imagine what the zombies did! I hope they didn't bite -  
(Sandy silences him by placing her hand over his mouth)  
Sandy: No, they didn't bite me. This blood that stains my clothes and fur is not my own, however, it will forever be a stain on my conscience and wellbeing. To make a long story short, I came in just as those blasted abominations were attacking Nancy Suzy Fish. All this blood comes from my feeble attempts to save her and to kill the zombies. Two failures in one day - not bad going for me.  
(The camera slowly pans away from the group, while they exchange gestures of hopelessness and fear. SpongeBob begins to narrate again.)  
SpongeBob (narrating): At this very minute, the clock counting down the hours until the Infection hit at full force finally hit zero. (Cut to the streets, where ten zombies are huddled together in a circle, scavenging the sidewalk for suitable food.) No-one could pretend anymore, the world had changed, and certainly not for the better. (One zombie comes across the corpse of a recent victim of the disease, and invitingly gestures to the other zombies, who surround the body and begin feasting on it. The screen freezes on a zombie with a bloody face who is right in the middle of taking a meaty bite. Suddenly, the scene fast-forwards and images begin to frenetically rush by, including people running from zombies, stores closing, frightened people, and ending on an image of a run-down Barg 'n' Mart that is still open, despite the pandemic. Squidward and Sandy walk into it, pale-faced and terrified, closely followed by Patrick and SpongeBob.)  
Patrick: Listen, guys, I don't want you to act like this; it brings us all down. One of us freaks out when we're in the midst of a zombie fight, that will kill us all. To survive in these times, we all need to strengthen our spirits. (motivationally) Acting all defeatist and wimpy won't get us anywhere, we need to accept challenges as they come and go. If a zombie appears, I don't expect you guys to back into a corner, I expect you to come up to those brainless bastards and give them a fight they'll remember. The ones who run away are the ones who lose in the end. To fight is to be strong, and if even if the battle is lost, when we're all dead on the ground, at least we'll have died as heroes. (even more motivationally) Do you want to be another number? Do you want to die without victory? I've been up all night, tossing and turning, braving myself for battle, and what are you doing? Crying and throwing yourself around! We should go into that store with our heads held high, and we shall fight until the bitter end. If we die, we die as heroes.  
(For a second, everyone stays silent, a look of awe on their faces, and then, suddenly, a surge of determination flashes in the eyes of each and every member of the gang. They march on into the Barg 'n' Mart, ready for anything. Epic music plays, as they walk slowly but surely along the deserted aisles of the store. A frightened shopkeeper's frown changes to a smile, as he silently greets the gang, in admiration of their determination. Suddenly, Sandy turns her head around, to find several members of the SBAC purchasing groceries.)  
Scientist 3 (evilly): We meet again, Sandy. Remember that time I almost killed you?  
Sandy: Yes, and it's not exactly a pleasant memory. (pauses) But, I've got one thing to say to you.  
Scientist 3: Make it quick; the sooner I release the paramecium, the better. (laughs)  
Sandy: I'm sure these zombies aren't seeming so phony now.  
Scientist 4: Oh, but they're not zombies. We've given up on the flu business, because the symptoms are more staggering, but we're pretty sure diseases of this caliber have existed, and then simply come and gone. These respectable people you demean by calling 'zombies' are simply victims of a temporary outbreak.  
(We hear frantic banging and groaning at the door. Sandy turns around to see a zombie press his face against the window, leaving a bloody smear, and letting out a low and resonant growl.)  
Sandy: See that? You don't call that a zombie?!  
Scientist 5: I hate to admit it, but you're right. We've spent so much time inside trying to find a rational explanation, but I guess - I guess it was all for nothing. (to the other scientists) We've failed.  
(The third scientist turns to the zombie, who is continuing to bang on the glass, sheds a single tear, fumbles through his pocket, and grabs the jar of mutated paramecium. As everyone in the store watches, horrified, he tips the jar all over himself, and within the span of around four seconds, he is almost entirely devoured by the viruses. We briefly see his skeleton falling to the floor. The fourth scientist, screaming and shivering, entirely traumatized by the ordeal, scoops up the paramecium, who are encumbered from the meal, puts them back in the jar, and closes it.)  
Scientist 4: Monster... zombie... jar... virus... eaten... devoured... (he suddenly begins shrilly screaming and shouting unintelligible gibberish)  
(Sandy walks away from the scientists, attempting to keep in mind Patrick's speech. We can see she is beginning to slip away from her previous unworried persona, and is obviously shaken by the previous events. She runs back to the main gang, who are prepared for anything that comes their way, and are brandishing various abnormal weapons, such as bricks, anvils and mirrors.)  
Sandy: It turns out the scientists didn't know the full scale of what was upon us... they weren't so evil after all.  
SpongeBob: But what of their previous evil acts?  
Sandy: The thing is, here, apart from me being threatened with the specially-bred virus, they weren't actually doing anything evil. You should have - wait, you shouldn't - have seen their reaction when they saw one of the fully-infected zombies. I think the sight of that scientist emptying the jar of viruses on himself scarred me for life.  
Squidward: Just get yourself a weapon and ready yourself for fighting the Infected.  
Sandy: What should I get?  
Squidward: Anything sharp or hard will do. Tell you what, we saved a hammer just for you. (he points to the ground, where a hammer, ripped out of its packaging, awaits. Sandy picks it up, and the four stand in line, locked in an aggressive pose, to ward off the zombies knocking at the door and windows.)  
SpongeBob: I think it's time to end the waiting. (he breaks the wall open with his anvil, allowing the zombies to pour into the store.)  
Patrick: CHARGE! (the gang form a circle around one zombie, rapidly pounding it with their weapons. It limps free of their grasp, and jumps on Patrick. Just before it can take a bite, Sandy smashes its head with a hammer, and the scene cuts away as blood splatters on a wall. Patrick rejoins the line of fighters, as they are pitted against two zombies. SpongeBob throws the anvil at the zombie's chest, knocking the wind out of it, and it falls onto the ground, not before Patrick destroys the brain of the zombie with a brick.)  
SpongeBob: Remember, those two victories don't mean anything. We're not trained, that was just luck. When you come in to kill these two last zombies, remind yourself that you might not win.  
(The gang continue to chase the zombies across the store, gripping their now-bloodstained weapons tightly, until they come across the scientists, two of who have been eaten by zombies. Squidward retches, but not before he tosses the mirror at the third zombie, impaling it in its chest. SpongeBob runs to it as we hear the sound of glass shattering, and as he swings his anvil, the zombie grabs his leg and begins shaking him around. Sandy intervenes, and the scene cuts away as we hear a squishing sound.)  
SpongeBob: Sandy, I can never thank you enough. You're amazing in combat.  
Sandy: Don't worship me yet. We still have another zombie to kill.  
Patrick: (he dashes towards SpongeBob and Sandy) We still have another zombie to kill? Nuh-uh, check this out. (he holds up a zombie's head but then drops it, disgusted) Jesus Christ...  
Sandy: You know what, Patrick? Your motivational speech really aided me in battle, it encouraged me to not give up no matter the circumstances. But, there was something about killing them that got to me. It just felt really horrible. I've hunted animals back in Texas, and never felt too horrified about it, but this was on a whole new level. I mean... they used to be like us, with a family and kids and... goddamn it, I can't go on.  
Patrick: I'm truly pleased that my speech helped you on your first step to heroism. Also, I'm glad that you also feel remorse for the infected you took the life away from - if there's one thing you shouldn't do, it's get desensitized. You'll become numb to the plight of those around you, and that's something you sure-as-hell shouldn't do in times like these.  
Squidward: Remember, we practically haven't done anything yet though. I have to admit, four zombie kills is okay, but have we significantly decreased the zombie population? No. Have we found the cure? No. Have we become highly respected yet? No.  
SpongeBob: Still, we have done something, and I think we should be thankful for that.  
Squidward: We've got a long way to go.  
(As the scene cuts to an bird's eye view of the Barg 'n' Mart that slowly pans out to reveal the wasteland Bikini Bottom has become, SpongeBob begins narrating again.)  
SpongeBob: Welcome to New Bikini Bottom, the real home of the brave. (pauses) It's gonna be a bumpy ride.


	2. Episode 2: Survivors

SPONGEBOB: INFECTION  
EPISODE II: SURVIVORS.

 

(The episode starts with a close-up on Mr. Krabs' closed, baggy eyes. As they open, revealing them to be very bloodshot and sleep-filled, the scene pans out to show him sprawled on the floor in his house, empty bottles of alcohol strewn everywhere. He jerkily gets up, kicking over a bottle of rum as he stumbles.)  
Mr. Krabs: What the hell happened? I'm not usually too in... inebriated to remember things. (pauses and tries to think) Meh... it probably wasn't important. Well, apart from the fact that there are eighteen empty two-litre b-bottles on the ground. (He shuffles onto a half-tipped over couch, and switches on the television, to see nothing but static, and a faint, muffled noise. A puzzled countenance crosses Mr. Krabs' face as he begins switching channels, each which yields the same result - although the sound gets louder each time.) This is why I shouldn't - (a loud, piercing scream sounds from the TV, along with a faint tearing sound. Mr. Krabs gulps and turns off the TV, beads of sweat forming around his forehead and back. He makes a slightly lopsided dash for his door.) I guess I should stop being so oblivious and find out what re... really happened that n-night. (Just as he makes a movement to push the door open, he lets out a feeble, frightened whimper and starts hyperventilating. He tries to extinguish his fears by repeating a motivational mantra, but just as he begins to speak, his words come out garbled and unintelligible. It seems as if he has finally figured out the true scale of last night's crisis, as he slumps down against his door, in tears.) I remember... they said... an infection... infected... zombies. (Wiping his volcanically pouring eyes, his weight pushes the door open, revealing the yellow, cracked streets of Bikini Bottom. As Mr. Krabs stares at the rubble, his mouth agape, the screen freeze-frames.)  
(Theme song plays)  
(After the theme song, the scene cuts to a wide shot of the gang walking out of the Barg 'n' Mart. Squidward is wringing the blood out of his shirt, Patrick is staring blankly into the darkness, and SpongeBob and Sandy are talking to each other.)  
SpongeBob: I remember the days when we used to play karate, go to the movies and catch jellyfish together... back then, it would never even cross our minds that something like this would happen.  
Sandy: Those were the days. (she silently sheds a tear) To think this hasn't even been happening for a week, and already our past lives seem further away than ever. I've come from a happy-go-lucky, slightly crazy squirrel, to a bloodstained shell of my former self, all in the course of two days. We're all different people now, and not necessarily better ones.  
SpongeBob: But you've got something to live for. I don't think the Infection has spread to Texas yet, and you've got a whole family over there. There's a more-than-likely chance that they'll be alive and waiting to meet you again. My family... I haven't heard from them ever since the news broadcast. And, trust me, they contact me bi-daily, if not more than that. I'm just hoping it's because of the resulting power outages rather than... (gulps) anything else.  
Sandy: While studying the corpse of one of the zombies, I found one of the bugs responsible for the disease crawling around in its skin. It seemed to have been mutated so that it was able to survive in water and dry land. With the rate the virus was eating through Bikini Atoll, I'd say it will reach the US in a few days.  
SpongeBob: But, how is this virus passed around exactly?  
Sandy: It's quite similar to something in a zombie film, to the best of my understanding. The zombie's bloodstream is filled with these super-viruses, and when a major wound, especially a bite, is opened on a victim's body by one, some of the viruses are implanted inside the wound, which quickly spread and eat away at the victim's systems, rendering them a mindless, flesh-craving vegetable. (pause) Be glad you have me, my observance will save you.  
(Squidward puts his shirt, which is no longer dripping, back on, and joins in with the conversation. Patrick is still scanning the scenery for dangers. As Squidward opens his mouth, Patrick quickly and loudly interjects, as he sees two distant zombies chasing a fish.)  
Patrick: We have two zombies on the right side. I repeat, we have two zombies on the right side!  
Squidward: Patrick, I don't think you're making it clear that we left our weapons at Barg 'n' Mart. As scrawny and weak as these two look, they could easily make a meal of us.  
Patrick: They are hot on someone else's trail, which could give us more of a chance.  
SpongeBob: Forget it, Patrick. Your motivational words are often disproportionate to the situation we're actually in. We've all faced firsthand the difficulty in killing these creatures. Do you really think we can kill two zombies by punching them?  
Sandy: I'd say our best bet is to stay as far away as possible.  
Patrick: Do you really want an innocent life to be taken just because you're too cowardly to march up to a zombie and put up a fight?  
Squidward: It's one innocent life versus four innocent lives.  
(Patrick grinds his teeth, annoyed by the argument brewing up among the gang. He marches off by himself.)  
Patrick: Fine, I'm going by myself, you cowards.  
(As he fades away into the distance, SpongeBob begins to show a look of worry on his face.)  
SpongeBob: What has Patrick gotten himself into? His newfound optimism is beginning to be... scary in a way.  
Sandy: I don't know what this epidemic has done to him. He just thinks that he's an unstoppable force that can defeat anything using any means. Remember his speech? That was the first sign. It's no longer if we die, we die as heroes anymore though, it's we won't die.  
Squidward: If someone's lulling you into a false sense of security, you shouldn't trust them, plain and simple.  
Sandy: Don't say things like that. It's just that the stress has mentally changed him. We should still trust him to some extent; I just think it's not a good sign that he's gaining this sort of complex, it could soon progress to outright insanity.  
(The scene cuts to Patrick walking slowly towards the zombies, who are chasing the victim, whose face still hasn't been seen, around in a circle. He begins muttering words to himself.)  
Patrick: Stupid people... destroying my hopefulness... I'll show them... yeah...  
(the zombies leave the other fish alone, and chase after him) Come and get it, zombies!  
(he picks up and throws a rock, which hits one of the zombies' chests, bruising it, but causing no further damage. As the zombies get closer, he continues firing rocks, which prove to be entirely useless. One zombie advances on him, and knocks him to the ground. We see it looming over him from Patrick's point of view, and as the zombie puts his mouth to Patrick's arm, we see a knife emerge from the zombie's chest, along with a splatter of blood. It falls down unconscious, and as the view switches back to third-person, Patrick gets up, to see that the zombies were chasing Mr. Krabs, who has a sweaty and terrified face.)  
Mr. Krabs: I don't think it's dead.  
Patrick: Trust me, you'd know if a zombie was dead. It takes a lot more than a single stab.  
Mr. Krabs: (somewhat garbled and alcohol-wracked) I didn't know that all of this happened... it came as such a surprise. The day it was announced, I must have been drunk off my head. I woke up this morning with a dozen-and-a-half empty bottles in my house and a massive hangover. My TV wasn't working, and there was a weird screaming sound coming from it. I figured that maybe the source was coming from outside, so I followed my natural instincts. Then, zombies. Nothing but zombies. Zombies everywhere. The only weapon I had was a knife, and I couldn't kill anything with it. They just kept coming back up, no matter how many hits I gave them. I ran off as far as I could... and ended up here.  
Patrick: I, frankly, don't know who I am anymore. I just abandoned my gang and ran off to kill those two zombies unarmed. One moment I'm normal, and then, I have spells like that. I think I'm going crazy.  
Mr. Krabs: I went crazy a long time ago. Alcohol has already destroyed my life and personality... what else is there to destroy?  
(The zombie raises its arm to get back up, and just as Mr. Krabs aims the knife to strike again, Patrick grabs him on the arm and runs back to the gang with him. The zombies are confused by the sight of the two running, and stumble away. Slowing down due to exhaustion, the two begin to jog through the expanse of the small desert area instead of running. They finally come across the rest of the gang, who seem displeased at the presence of Mr. Krabs.)  
Squidward: Oh look, the Master of Misdirection has brought back Mr. Krabs, of all people... (he sighs)  
Sandy: I see you didn't kill the zombie. And, seriously, will having a depressed, sexist alcoholic on board really help relieve our tension?  
SpongeBob: I normally wouldn't say this to someone who's been there for me my whole life, but, my God, you've outdone yourself in stupidity this time. First you ditch and insult us, then you fail to do what you promised to do, then... (he points to Mr. Krabs) Is there anyone who actually likes him, after all he's done?  
(Patrick breaks down in tears as the group continue to bring him down.)  
Patrick: Is... picking at every flawed decision of... a man who's just snapped... r-r-really the right thing to do? I... I admit I shouldn't have... attempted to kill those zombies... or insulted you... but everyone deserves a second chance, Mr. Krabs included. You guys are relatively untroubled and sane, but I just... couldn't handle the abrupt change... in lifestyle, so I pretended that... ev-everything was alright... which broke me... turned me into this thing.  
SpongeBob: I apologize for the outburst, and I'm pretty sure Sandy and Squidward feel the same. It's just we don't appreciate someone making our path even more troublesome, and potentially leading us to our deaths. And, Mr. Krabs... I'm sure that everyone's had some sort of bad experience involving him. I'm undecided on whether he should stay with us permanently, but we'll take him in until he tries something fishy.  
Sandy: I second that plan, but to further prevent any of his... erm, incidents, we should all stay sober. Honestly, if we pack even the most well-hidden bottle of alcohol, Mr. Krabs will find it, and he will drink it.  
Patrick: Meh, I've got no problems with that, judging that I swore sobriety a long time ago. I don't actually have a problem with Mr. Krabs, he seems to be quite a nice guy underneath his extensive lust and alcoholism. Recently, we've had many a friendly discussion together.  
Squidward: Maybe we could keep him with us until we find a hospitable, populated shelter for him to live. I mean, it would be despicable and deplorable if we left him for dead, but, excluding Patrick, no-one can stand the guy. I think he'd be in better hands somewhere else, for his and our sake. Is that okay, Krabs?  
Mr. Krabs: O-okay. But is there really a chance of there being a hospitable, populated shelter among all this rubble?  
SpongeBob: Hmmm... it could be so.  
Squidward: Think about it, in practically every single zombie movie, there's some sort of shelter for the protagonists to hide in, which keeps them safe from the zombie horde. There are many places in Bikini Bottom which could be utilized for this purpose. Something fortified, very tall, or underground would do.  
Sandy: What the hell are we waiting for? Let's go find ourselves a shelter, before Mr. Krabs tries anything out.  
Squidward: Okay. Patrick, you're on watch again. Tell us if you see anything that we could potentially use.  
Patrick: Sounds like a plan. (He squints into the distance, as the gang keep walking on.)  
SpongeBob: Have you spotted anything yet?  
Patrick: I'm being as vigilant as possible, but so far nothing of importance is in my line of sight.  
(The scene shifts to time-lapse format, showing the characters walking and searching at a much more accelerated speed. As the scene quickens to an even greater speed, it suddenly stops and returns to real time.)  
Patrick: Possible shelter detected. Should we go and investigate?  
(The camera moves a bit further to show a hole in the ground, with what looks like spikes and barricades dotted artfully around it.)  
Squidward: It doesn't look too promising, or too much like a shelter even. Last time I checked, a shelter was a structure or building that provides cover from weather or protection against danger, not a hole with a few spears around it.  
Patrick: I don't think the spears would be put together in such a delicate and intricate pattern if that hole had no purpose. Even if you are correct and the hole serves no obvious purpose, we should still examine it.  
Squidward: I don't expect to find anything, yet I agree that we should still inspect.  
(The five walk towards the hole, Mr. Krabs reluctantly and questioningly trudging behind, with Squidward not too far forward. Patrick, who is at the front of the line, stops next to the hole. The camera pans around it, showcasing bloodstained spikes, poles, spears, saw blades and bear traps above lines of butchered zombies.)  
Sandy: So many zombies... there wouldn't be so many dead ones here unless they smelled people down there. Let's advance down that hole, but we should remain extra-careful, lest we end up like that sorry sucker. (She points to a zombie laying in pieces on the blood-covered ground, next to a running propeller embedded in the sand. Sandy carefully climbs down the hole, shocked to see a professional-looking staircase going straight down the width of the excavation.) Everybody, come down. The way is safe.  
(The remaining four in the gang walk down the stairway with Sandy, to find a door next to a bear trap. Just as Patrick is about to tread on it, Sandy bends down, deactivates it, and cautiously opens the door, awaiting more deadly traps. In single-file, they walk in with Sandy in the lead, and Squidward at the back.)  
SpongeBob: Hello? (His voice echoes around the vast expanse of the shelter, and is answered by a hooded figure.)  
Hooded Figure: Welcome. (an unnerving silence sounds after he says this)  
Mr. Krabs: I'm just asking... is this place actually a zombie shelter, or have we walked into a trap?  
Patrick: (whispering) Shhh... don't ask that!  
Hooded Figure: Many visitors to this abode ask the very same question, and the answer is, yes, this is a shelter for survivors to relax without fear of being attacked by the infected. We have many facilities, such as scientific and medical centers, a lounge, hotel-style rooms for two to four people to share, a dining room, a s-  
Squidward: Actually, we didn't come for those purposes. We came to drop him off. (he points to Mr. Krabs, who makes a weak smile).  
SpongeBob: No, Squidward. We'll be much safer here; whereas our initial goal was to find a place for Mr. Krabs to live, I believe that living here will benefit us too. Do you want a social, luxury life, or a life out in the open, being chased by zombies?  
Squidward: I partly agree with you, SpongeBob. It's just that you don't get hailed as a hero if you stay in a shelter all your life.  
Hooded Figure: Leaving here is almost a death penalty, for the smell of life around here attracts many infected, some of who you can see on our shelter's... exterior. Unless you're expertly trained on how to kill a zombie, and have smarts and a half-decent weapon, you don't stand a goddamn chance.  
Sandy: Smarts, check. Expert training, nuh-uh. Weapon, nope. Yeah, Squidward, this would be a better place for all of us.  
SpongeBob: Plus, with all the facilities provided for us, by the end of our stay, we'll most likely have the necessary equipment and tutelage to fight zombies. Don't see this as a punishment, see it as an opportunity.  
Squidward: I've had enough of you guys forcing me into decisions I haven't entirely agreed upon. I am leaving, whether you like it or not. Yes, I may die, but at least I would have tried, which is more than I can say for you layabouts.  
(SpongeBob, Sandy and Patrick seem shocked by the greedy and non-negotiating nature of his statement. Squidward starts walking at a steady pace to the door, and Patrick grabs his back, restricting his ability to escape.)  
Patrick: ...and you said I was crazy.  
Squidward: I am not crazy, I am just confused that you would display such a disregard for helping Bikini Bottom, and choose to sleep around, not caring about your hometown's plight.  
Patrick: Fine, leave. One second you insult me due to my moderate mental deterioration, and the next you're behaving exactly in the manner I behave. If you're gonna show such carelessness and recklessness, you won't die a hero. You'll die a thoughtless braggart.  
(Squidward leaves, scowling and red-faced. The gang, as well as the hooded figure, look at Patrick with expressions halfway between accusative and congratulatory.)  
SpongeBob: You could have settled that in another manner... but I guess some causes are hard to argue in any other way.  
Mr. Krabs: I'm betting he'll just come crawling back.  
Hooded Figure: So, are you actually going to come in the shelter, or just waste time at the entrance adding fuel to petty arguments?  
Sandy: I guess there's no more time to spare. We should probably go in now.  
(Sandy walks through the entrance, the others following. At first, all they see is a dark, winding cave, with torches crudely propped around.)  
SpongeBob: This place looks pretty foreboding. I'm not sure if I'm the biggest fan of this.  
Sandy: I have a feeling once we get out of this tunnel, things are gonna start lookin' up. For a shelter meant to protect innocent people from the undead, it hasn't been the prettiest sight so far.  
Mr. Krabs: Come on! You've seen zombies eat people, yet you're complaining about the dark?  
SpongeBob: We're not complaining, per se, we're just saying this shelter doesn't look like something we should stay too long in.  
Patrick: Maybe they made the outside look like this to ward off the zombies and fool them into thinking there's no human life.  
(They continue walking, until Sandy reaches the end of the tunnel.)  
SpongeBob (calling): This place shaping up?  
Sandy: Definitely. Even this one room could keep us living for at least a month, if not two. What's more is that -  
(SpongeBob interrupts, eager to see the first room of the shelter.)  
SpongeBob: Let me see this.  
(As he runs through the tunnel's length, he stops at a large, glossy lounge, with music blaring, many sofas, a table with food and drink crowded onto every inch, a large host of people having general fun, and a wood sign unprofessionally pressed into the floor stating "The Party Lounge" in dripping blue paint.)  
Sandy: Wonderful, ain't it?  
SpongeBob: Yes, it truly is. Nonetheless, we've got a little problem which may prevent us from enjoying this room. (he subtly points to Mr. Krabs, who is being slowly herded through the end of the tunnel by Patrick, and does not notice SpongeBob's gesture.)  
Sandy: We need to arrange something fast. I'm not dealing with a drunk Mr. Krabs again, especially after what happened...  
SpongeBob: What happened?  
Sandy: Please, I don't want to bring back those memories I repressed for so long. I'll go and speak to whoever leads this shelter about restraining Krabs from this room, while you and Patrick can relax here. (she walks off through another door, as Patrick comes in with Mr. Krabs. He has his arm pressed against Krabs' eyes, to shield him from succumbing to his temptations, however Mr. Krabs is struggling against his grip frantically and violently.)  
Patrick: Stay put, I'm not letting you - (Patrick yells as Mr. Krabs sinks his teeth into his arm, drawing blood and loosening his grip.)  
Mr. Krabs: What I do with my life is my priority, not yours. Get the hell off me and leave me alone, you son-of-a-bitch!  
(Patrick instinctively kicks Mr. Krabs in the stomach and then grabs him again, escorting him outside of the party room.)  
Patrick: I'm doing this for your own good. Tell me, you'd prefer condemning yourself to a slow suicide than getting sufficient help and flourishing for the remainder of your years?  
Mr. Krabs: That's the thing though, I can't get help! Depriving me of alcohol would be like cutting off a gravely ill patient's IV line! Quit living in your fantasy world and realize that shit happens, like it or not.  
Patrick: And depriving you of alcohol would also stop you from talking such incessant, nonsensical gibberish. (Patrick continues to frogmarch Mr. Krabs to the door, and at last pushes him through it. Mr. Krabs angrily spits on the ground.)  
Mr. Krabs: I hate you, you f- (the door is closed by Patrick, which obscures the rest of the word. SpongeBob approaches Patrick, and starts talking to him.)  
SpongeBob: Hard to deal with, huh?  
Patrick: (exhales in relief) Yeah, undoubtedly. I learned his true nature the hard way. (he points to the bite in his arm, which has stopped bleeding, but is still reasonably fresh)  
SpongeBob: Say, now that he's gone, do you think we should hit the party?  
Patrick: I generally tend to stick to my guns and stay sober, but what problem is a few drinks now and then when the world's been taken over by zombies?  
SpongeBob: No problem at all. Let's just not try to turn into Mr. Krabs along the way.  
(Patrick runs to the drinks counter, cracks open a bottle of beer and starts sipping it slowly. SpongeBob joins him, and instead of drinking from the bottle, pours his beer into a glass. As the drink slips down his throat, his pupils dilate. SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other, grins on their faces. Cut to Mr. Krabs, who is charging through the winding and twisting corridors of the shelter, breathing heavily, obviously suffering from heavy withdrawal symptoms. He opens the nearest door he sees unthinkingly, which is marked "OFFICE", to find...)  
Sandy: So, in conclusion, please, sir, for the love of God, keep Mr. Krabs away from the party room. You give him that buzz, and he can be deadly. (the leader and Sandy turn around to see Mr. Krabs sweating with anger, clenching his claws. He grabs Sandy on the stomach with his claw and slams her to the ground.)  
Mr. Krabs (in between breaths): As you can see, taking away my alcohol can be as dangerous to your very lives as me drinking to excess. I hope you've learned the values of not pissing me off. Especially you, Sandy.  
(a top-down shot reveals Sandy with a deep claw mark on her chest oozing blood. She appears to be unconscious but not in danger of death.)  
Leader: Do you really believe you can brutally attack a habitant of this shelter in front of me and get off scot-free? You made a major misstep. Because of this, and some of what Sandy told me about your past history, I think that I won't just restrict you from the party room. (pause) The mental ward's over there. Try not to kill anyone along the way.  
(Cut to the party room; the song Brain Stew by Green Day is playing over the scene. SpongeBob and Patrick are drunkenly flailing around on the dancefloor, when Patrick gets up to watch TV, falling over on his way. He sits next to a girl, who is evidently somewhat tipsy too, and the two exchange unheard drunken words of false love. SpongeBob gets off the dancefloor and gets another drink, but the table is now covered by Patrick and the girl, drunkenly thrusting against one another. SpongeBob winces, and walks to another area, where he sees a fish with two joints in his mouth holding a pillow. Not understanding what they're doing, the two silently argue with each other over the pillow, the fish coming out on top. The fish starts following SpongeBob for some reason, and hands SpongeBob a marijuana cigarette. He refuses, and returns to the dancefloor. Cut back to Patrick, who is putting his shirt back on. Even more drunk than before, he starts ferociously punching the television, and calls SpongeBob to do it too. SpongeBob attempts a less violent approach - dancing on top of the television. Suddenly, Patrick falls asleep, his tongue rolling out of his mouth, and we see from SpongeBob's point of view his vision going blurry, and everything fading to black, even the song, which cuts after the second verse.)  
(Cut to Mr. Krabs in the mental ward, which is large but dark, and is covered with various medical instruments. Many other committed patients are sitting near Mr. Krabs, which unnerves him.)  
Mental Patient #1: Lookee here, another patient scraped straight from the bottom of the food chain. You look--  
(Another patient intervenes in the middle of the first mental patient's possible threat of cannibalism, who is looking to warm Mr. Krabs into it rather than deter him.)  
Mental Patient #2: Hey there. Don't worry about everybody here, you'll get used to them. (Mr. Krabs looks down at the patient's lower half, which is covered with carved-in dates and numbers, and silently screams, running to the exit and banging frantically on it.)  
Mr. Krabs: Get me out of here! Get me out of here! I don't want to be with these freaks! I'm still myself! (crying) Please!  
Mental Patient #2: There are actually--  
Mr. Krabs: Don't talk to me, you weirdo! I actually want a way out of here, not some false words of reassurance from a guy who cuts dates into his legs!  
Unknown Mental Patient (from a corner): Let him talk!  
Mental Patient #2: There are actually some patients here who aren't so, in your terminology, "freaky". Many of us patients are very normal, but were just brought here due to drug problems, attacking someone on a one-off instance, post-traumatic stress, and so on.  
Mr. Krabs: I'm here because alcohol transformed me into a monster. I worked hard, got a wife, had a kid, owned a million-earning restaurant, but then came the turn of drink. My Pearl disowned me, I divorced my wife, I had to give the Krusty Krab rights to someone else, and every second day I woke up face-down next to the gutter, with all my money wasted on more drink, prostitutes, or worse. And now I'm here, in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, in a mental institution.  
(The mental patients are emotionally touched by his story, some clap softly and respectfully. A patient who is buff, overweight, missing all his teeth, and has his hands tied behind his back, approaches Mr. Krabs.)  
Mental Patient #3: Hard life, man.  
(Mr. Krabs is overwhelmed by the mental patients' surprising warmness, and begins to cry. Cut to Sandy, who is back up on her feet again, and is stitching up the wound in her stomach with a needle and thread in her pocket. A fish walks past, and makes a remark.)  
Fish: Uh, shouldn't you visit the hospital about that? I wouldn't really advise stitching it up yourself, unless you want an infection.  
Sandy: Relax. I know how to correctly stitch up a minor wound.  
(We see Sandy stitch up the last area of the wound in a near-close-up shot. As she walks off, the fish makes another remark.)  
Fish: I think you should apply for the hospital in this shelter. Looking at the way you professionally stitched up that wound, I'd say you'd make it big.  
Sandy: Sorry but no thanks. I prefer the ways of combat and science myself, but it's good you regard me highly.  
(As she continues walking, she notices a ripped-off poster. A close-up shows that most of it is unrecognizable due to it being torn off the wall, but in the corner, the SBAC logo is visible.)  
Sandy: Oh my God... this used to be the SBAC shelter. I should have remembered that you couldn't build somethin' like this in two days. I hope none of them remain here. (as she continues walking through the corridors, she sees a room labelled "Presentation Room" with "Now Showing: Zombie Slaying 101" written in cursive underneath it. She walks through the door to find a huge host of people watching a man, many dummies, and a screen. She sits on an empty seat, then gets up and wipes some gum off it. Sitting back on the seat, she realizes she's sitting next to SpongeBob and Patrick, who are massively hungover, with black bags under their eyes.)  
SpongeBob (mildly slurred): Oh, hey there, Sandy. You came here at the right time. This guy's both a scientist and combat expert, and he's going to demonstrate the best methods of killing a zombie, as well as show their weak points.  
Patrick: I wonder what's been going on with Squidward. As self-serving as he was, I hope the undead haven't taken him into their ranks.  
Sandy: Shhh, it's beginning!  
(Grainy, black-and-white archive footage of zombies from various movies, TV shows and games show on the giant screen behind the presenter.)  
Presenter: Hello everybody, my name is Finn Sharkson, zombie enthusiast, pathologist, biologist, trained combatant. Zombies have been a staple of the media for years, but nobody expected that the plague would transfer into real life. (the footage on the TV screen transitions into footage of zombies prowling the streets of Bikini Bottom and attacking people.) The living dead are killing and turning hundreds of innocent people everyday, and nobody is doing anything to stop the madness, even though they may have the capabilities to take them on. And with my help, you will be more-than-adequately prepared to face the undead menace fearlessly and make the world a better place. (He reaches his arm out to grab a zombie dummy, which has been crafted to look almost like a real zombie, and pulls out a loaded pistol from his pocket.) Part one of victory against the walkers: shooting techniques. When the dead are coming at you from a long range, it's always a good idea to use your trusty gun. You have to have fairly good aim in order to shoot a zombie dead, as the only way to defeat them is by destroying their brain. No matter how much you've screwed up the rest of their body, they won't die until their brain ceases to exist. That being said, shooting lower down can give you an easier shot at the head. (Finn fires his gun at the zombie dummy's head, which deflates and sprays a large amount of pink and red dye. The screen in front of him also shows a zombie being shot in the head.) Sniper rifles are good if there's only one or two zombies near you, but I wouldn't advise using them if there's a large gathering of zombies. They have extremely slow firing rates and only a limited amount of bullets, so unless you have a melee weapon with you, you're essentially screwed. I suggest assault rifles and pistols for best defense against the undead. (He shoots many bullets from an assault rifle at another zombie dummy, which falls back, spurting red dye.) Step two: close-quarters combat. Rumor has it that a mutated zombie, codenamed the 'Zombie King' by our science department, exists deep underground that is immune to gunfire and must be fought closely. This goes for many other zombies; they may not be immune, but melee weaponry is often the best way to approach them.  
(A time card stating "One Hour Later" is shown, and it cuts back to the presentation, which has finished. Finn is signing autographs while covered in fake blood, while most of the audience are collecting the weapons they need from a very large box. The scene zooms to the mental ward, where a live video of the presentation is being played on TV. The door to the ward opens as one of Finn's assistants comes in with a cart full of weapons. Everybody grabs as many as they possibly can, taking joy in the weapons' looks and feels, but Mr. Krabs simply grabs an assault rifle and runs out of the ward, through the corridors, and into the party room. Finn's assistant is too busy ensuring the patients don't use their weapons for negative purposes to notice.)  
Mr. Krabs: Finally, where I wanted to be all along. (he picks up three fifths of vodka from the drinks table, gulps a quarter of one down, and turns on the TV, which switches to a red flashing screen stating "WARNING!". A female announcer appears on the screen, who is being filmed on the crow's nest at the top of the shelter, and she loudly and clearly enunciates a severe weather warning.)  
Announcer: Jennifer Marlin reporting live at the crow's nest, where a large tornado is tearing its way through Bikini Bottom! It could reduce the zombie threat, but it will lessen the already dying population, and may even have the strength and power to rip this shelter out of the ground! (The camera starts bobbing back and forth, the building sound of the wind obscuring Jennifer's words.) Stay down on the lowest floors! (indecipherable) away! Don't hold back or (the wind is at its loudest, rendering the few words she has left to say incomprehensible. Suddenly, the tornado flies at her, hurtling her corpse at the screen with a thud, knocking the camera and presumably the cameraman over. The view from the camera is now cracked and bloody. The TV automatically turns off.)  
Mr. Krabs: I must be the only person who knows about this. If I'm following my expectations, everyone else is still in the presentation room. Without this knowledge, they'll be unprepared. (pause) Time to show this shelter that I'm worth shit.  
(He sees the yellowish light of the outdoor landscape through the party room's windows, which then explode, showering him with glass. The glass implants itself in his skin and draws blood, but he ignores the impulses of pain from his nerves and runs through the violently shaking corridors of the shelter, as various pieces of metal and building material fly around, striking him.) Ah, forget it, I'm still worth nothing. They don't know what's going on, they don't know anything. (Remembering not to dwell on self-pity during life-or-death situations, he runs to the mental ward, where around twenty zombies have broken in through a hole in the wall. The patients are hopeless - their half-eaten bodies lie in every corner, and those who are still alive are having panic attacks or are soon to be killed. He sees the muscle-bound patient he befriended struggling to fight a zombie. The patient slams the crowbar into the zombie's abdomen five times, spraying blood. Mr. Krabs grabs his arm and attempts to yank him away, but one of the zombies bites the muscled patient's stomach, shakes his head around, and pulls upward, disembowelling him instantly. Retching, and feeling only pure anger, Mr. Krabs cocks his assault rifle, and fires three bullets into the zombie's head, which spurts blood. He grins as the creature keels over, dead. The muscled mental patient is lying on the ground, barely alive. He coughs out four words.)  
Mental Patient #3: Avenge...me...my...friend. (his eyes close. Mr. Krabs sheds a tear and continues to fire into the steadily-growing mass of zombies. We briefly see a patient get bitten on the shoulder by a flailing zombie. In the middle of the bite, a bullet impacts the zombie's forehead, and it falls over with a quick spray of blood. As Mr. Krabs' firing becomes even more precise, four zombies are shown dying from gunfire simultaneously, their bodies becoming just a fraction of the large pile behind them. He fires at another zombie, but it hits its leg rather than its head. The zombie comes towards him, dragging its wounded leg behind it, and Mr. Krabs realizes he has to reload. As he does so, the zombie jumps on him and makes several failed attempts to bite him. Mr. Krabs picks an axe off the ground, and with a flick of his wrist, slices the zombie's head clean off. Realizing his gun is now lost amongst the rubble and bodies, Krabs retreats, carrying his axe with him. Cut to the presentation room, where carnage of a similar scale is occurring. The left wall has entirely broken down, and dozens of zombies have come in, feasting on the living. The survivors are unconfidently firing their guns; the only majorly professional individual at destroying the zombies is Finn, who is shooting zombies around him in a circular motion. SpongeBob, Patrick and Sandy are huddled together in one spot, creating a three-way defense system against the undead. A zombie lunges at Sandy, who shoots it in the head, causing it to spray blood. An overweight zombie falls from a hole in the roof on to SpongeBob, who falls on the ground, struggling against the zombie's grip.)  
SpongeBob: I need assistance! Somebody take this one out for me!  
(Patrick turns on a chainsaw and as he holds it to the obese zombie, the screen cuts away to another area of the room. The scene cuts back to Patrick switching his bloodied chainsaw off, a dead zombie just about visible in the lower half of the screen.)  
Patrick: How about we split up? Our defensive position causes a large disadvantage - we can't target our weapons, due to us being held too close together.  
(Sandy hits a zombie in the face with her rifle butt)  
Sandy: Splitting up is useless in a situation like this; they'll just keep coming. There's one thing we need to do - leave this God-forsaken hellhole. It's much easier to fight the zekes outdoors, especially when you're not being exposed to hundreds of people losing their lives.  
SpongeBob: But what about the tornado?  
Sandy: The worst of it will probably have mostly subsided by now. It will still be hazardous, but we can stand strong against it. Plus, the zombies will be far less maleficent if they're struggling to stay on their feet!  
Patrick: Let's go, then.  
(As the three dash for the exit in the wall, a large horde of zombies follow. SpongeBob and Patrick shoot the ten zombies that are hottest on their trail and Sandy runs as fast as she can, signalling for the two other members of the gang to keep up. SpongeBob and Patrick ignore three other members of the dead charging at them and run - but they notice another figure running with them, drenched in the blood of the undead. Patrick stops in his tracks, and finds out it's Mr. Krabs.)  
SpongeBob: Woah, what happened, Mr. Krabs?  
Mr. Krabs: You probably got the word that I was committed to the mental institution sector of the shelter, didn't you? Well, at the end of the presentation, I made a quick escape to the party room. I... I just couldn't take living with everybody there anymore. It really played with what little sanity I had left. When I was relaxing with a few fifths of vodka, the TV turned on and it was a...  
Patrick: Just get to why you're so bloody. I'm not really pleased with your presence here after your attack on Sandy, and to a lesser extent, me.  
Mr. Krabs: I went into the mental ward, and what I saw will probably shape me forever. There were zombies everywhere, eating people... I saw the only friend I had there get gutted in front of me. I shot about a half-dozen zombies... I really don't want to talk about it. Just give me a second chance, I can prove a valuable asset. Someone who nearly killed ten zombies can't be that useless, huh?  
SpongeBob: I suppose. Anyway, we need to meet up with Sandy, so we can make amends and discuss our plans for finding Squidward.  
Patrick: I don't see Sandy anywhere around me.  
Mr. Krabs: Check through your sniper scope. Don't shoot her of course.  
(Patrick looks into the distance, and sees nothing but an incredibly distant trail of blood.)  
Patrick: I only see a trail of blood. Dear God, please don't tell me the zombies have got her.  
SpongeBob: You mean the same zombies that attacked the shelter? They wouldn't be organized enough to drag someone all that way.  
Patrick: I have a feeling something big is happening. (pause) And we're trapped right in the middle of it.


	3. Episode 3: Missing

SPONGEBOB: INFECTION  
EPISODE III: MISSING.

 

(Cold opening. After a brief viewer discretion warning, the scene cuts to the shelter's main hall, where a multitude of corpses ravaged by zombies still lie around, although some are shown being carried off by quarantine officers. Among the carnage, we are treated to a disturbing sight - Finn, skilled combatant and enthusiast of the undead, is lying on the ground barely alive. His arms and one leg are clearly seen to be missing, and a quarantine officer is attempting to console him.)  
Finn (pained): Why did this happen to any of us? I was one of the best-trained, but got hit... got hit the hardest.  
Quarantine Officer: Life's hard and unpredictable. You did the best you could, and I'm sure everyone who got out of here alive will remember how valiant you were. Think about all the lives you saved.  
Finn: It's not that. It's that all the people I saved will live... live the remainder... of their lives wracked... with trauma and terror... and then they'll die horribly... just like me. Nobody has got... got out of here unscathed.  
Quarantine Officer: I don't know what to say. I remember a brighter time - but it's all a blur now. This is a new era, and man will grow accustomed to it. You have done nothing bad by helping the population out.  
Finn: You can't grow accustomed... to the... apocalypse. Nothing... nothing but horror... lies ahead. In the long run... we're all... (he coughs) screwed. Man has fallen. (Finn's eyes close and his head slumps; he is dead. The quarantine officer, a broken look on his face, wades through the mass of bodies, and faces the bloodstained wall. As we see a close-up of quarantine tape being placed on the door, the theme song plays. Afterwards, the scene cuts to SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs, who are standing next to each other, next to Sandy's blood trail.)  
SpongeBob: So here we are, standing in front of our end. This damn thing stretches on for miles, and materialized in such little time! No normal zombie could have done this.  
Patrick: I'm perplexed right here. The zombies I've seen - both the Barg 'n' Mart and shelter ones - they had their small differences, but something that picks out one person and drags them for miles in a matter of minutes is farfetched and fantastical, even in the age we live in.  
Mr. Krabs: Come on, zombies need their eye candy too!  
SpongeBob: Not the time, Mr. Krabs. We're in great danger, seeing as two of our most helpful teammates have gone missing, and may even be dead.  
Patrick: Although we're only in a group of three, we should do our best and try to find our absent crewmembers, dead or alive. The danger around us is only psychosomatic. If you think you can't do it, you won't do it.  
(He turns around to see a heavily decomposed zombie coming close to him. Patrick grabs his sniper rifle, looks through the scope and pulls the trigger, to find there is no ammunition in it.)  
Patrick: Zombie coming this way! Grab your weapons now!  
(Mr. Krabs draws his axe and holds it in a threatening position, while SpongeBob cocks his pistol and fires. The bullet hits the zombie in the leg, and after a brief spray of blood, it gets down on its knees and begins crawling to them. SpongeBob fires again, but the shot completely misses.)  
Patrick: Pistols are better at closer range. Let's see if I've got anything in my backpack by chance that might assist us here. (He fumbles through, and grabs a can of deodorant, while SpongeBob continues to misfire.)  
SpongeBob: How will that help?  
Patrick (grinning): You see, I have my ways. (Patrick lights a match, and penetrates the canister's lid with the flaming end. Very quickly, he throws it in the zombie's direction, and we see a long-shot view of the flaming deodorant can landing on the ground and exploding, flames engulfing the zombie, who flails around, screeching.)  
Patrick: Here's your chance, SpongeBob! Hit it right between the eyes!  
(We see the charred zombie crawling towards the gang, and SpongeBob looks down and fires at the zombie's head. It does not make much of a difference to the zombie's life-or-death status, as the zombie is barely more than a skeleton now. SpongeBob looks down at the body of the zombie he and Patrick worked together to kill, and sheds a tear.)  
SpongeBob: Every time I take one of the infected's lives, or even see anybody else killing them, it just makes me feel such pain. Although they've slaughtered many, and caused this hellish situation around us - it wasn't exactly their faults. The disease twisted their minds and bodies, and forced them into becoming killers. We do it because we believe we should, and take sadistic delight in their destruction. At the end of the day, if we resort to this sort of mindset when dealing with problems, what are we but bloodthirsty zombies, and why do we deserve to die any less than they do?  
Patrick: It feels horrible - and is - to kill anything, but like the zombies, we have to. We're being attacked, and it's not piscine nature to stand there and let them tear us to chunks. Kill or be killed - it's one of nature's laws, one that has stood since the dawn of time. An atrocious obligation, but an obligation nonetheless.  
Mr. Krabs: Quit yapping about your problems with killing zombies; saying stuff like that in an apocalypse is suicide.  
SpongeBob: It doesn't mean I won't kill a walker if confronted by one, it means I would prefer not to, and do not take any form of pride in it.  
Mr. Krabs: Oh, please. Zombies are braindead anyway, and I'm sure that if you've rotted away that much, your nerves won't pick up pain.  
SpongeBob: This is pointless. I state my own opinion in a non-confrontational manner, and it turns into a heated debate.  
Patrick: I agree, maybe discussing the value of life and whether it's justifiable to kill isn't really the best way to stay sane during the Infection. It tends to be Mr. Krabs who takes things to their logical extreme, though.  
SpongeBob: So what should we move the conversation to?  
Mr. Krabs: Something about sex; I need something to cure my withdrawal symptoms!  
Patrick: I would if only SpongeBob and I were present, but I really don't care to hear your misogynist views. And besides, to the best of my knowledge, you can't get withdrawal symptoms from not having sex.  
Mr. Krabs: You're not me, so therefore you wouldn't know. Anything you do constantly becomes impossible to live without.  
SpongeBob: Why don't we just not talk about anything? Every discussion point seems to result in discord between our group. Besides, we don't have much time to find Squidward and Sandy, and discussion skids us to a halt.  
(SpongeBob continues walking across the blood trail, Patrick and Krabs not far behind. A marshland with thick bushes and shallow pools of murky water comes into sight as the three slow down.)  
Patrick: There's a pack of what looks like six down there. You go down there and sneak up on one of them using your axe, Krabs, and when they become alert that they're being attacked, me and SpongeBob will head into the fight.  
Mr. Krabs: Too bad I'm terrible at sneaking. You picked the wrong guy.  
Patrick: This will all go to plan if you believe in yourself. And besides, I explained that if you appeared to be in danger, we'd come in to help.  
Mr. Krabs: O-okay. (He slowly walks through the marsh, shivering and worried, until he sees an unwary undead. Brandishing his axe, he creeps up behind the zombie, and swings the axe at full force, beheading the zombie with a large spray of black blood. As the creature slumps to the floor, Mr. Krabs looks perturbed.) Black blood? This isn't right. It can't be.  
(His talking to himself raises the awareness of three of the five remaining zombies, who charge at him at faster-than-normal speed. Mr. Krabs cries out for help, swinging his axe frantically. SpongeBob runs into the marsh, cradling his pistol, while Patrick pulls a large, pointed rock from the ground and then catches up with SpongeBob.)  
(The scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, who is slashing the zombies gathered around him with his axe. It is hard to determine what is going on, due to the scene being shot in fast motion, but we can see his axe is not doing too much damage. Suddenly, the scene switches to slow motion, and we see Patrick charge into the undead parade with his rock and smash a zombie in the jaw with it, which causes it to fall on the ground on its knees. The camera zooms up so the zombie is not seen, and then Patrick strikes the off-camera infected multiple times with the rock, dark blood splashing up with each hit. He wheezes in exhaustion, but is cornered by another zombie, who is promptly shot in the head by SpongeBob - the impact happens just out of frame. Mr. Krabs, now not overburdened, strikes the remaining zombie after him with his axe repeatedly, until it falls to the ground, presumably dead. Suddenly, he collapses, breathing in and out heavily. SpongeBob and Patrick come to Krabs' aid.)  
SpongeBob: Patrick, is he alright?  
Patrick: It looks like he just fainted due to stress more than anything. I'd say when he comes to, he'll return to his usual self. Not saying his usual self is a desirable thing. I'll carry him, you can deal with the zombies.  
(He picks Krabs up and drapes him over his shoulder, while SpongeBob ventures out to find the two other zombies' whereabouts. After some walking through the marsh, he is shocked to find them lying in a pool of blood, with Squidward, bloodied and bruised, standing before them holding a blood-drenched spear.)  
SpongeBob: You're alive!  
Squidward: Only just. I didn't know what I was stepping into by disbanding from you. Alone, it's far harder to deal with them.  
SpongeBob: Were you bitten?  
Squidward: No, luckily, but I now host a large variety of injuries across my body. (Squidward, with a look of both disgust and pride, lifts up his leg to showcase a nasty compound fracture. SpongeBob grimaces.) I got my leg caught in a bear trap planted to catch zombies, and spent one hellish hour trying to pull it out. The smell of my blood attracted them, and, trust me, it's not easy fighting the undead when you're face-down in the mud with a trap damn near pulling your leg off.  
SpongeBob: So where were you intending to go from the shelter?  
Squidward: Nowhere, really. I just wanted to find some decent zombie hotspots and pick them clean of life... well, un-life. I had traveled quite far out, into a grassy region of the atoll, and that's when it happened to me. I’m so goddamn sorry. I really shouldn't have undermined your judgment, it almost cost me my life.  
SpongeBob: Apology accepted. It looks like you've been trying to track back to the shelter. (Squidward nods.) To be honest, it probably wouldn't have been the best idea if you got back there at this time.  
Squidward: Why not?  
SpongeBob: The whole place has been overrun by zombies; it would be surprising if you found one living person down there. It used to be safe, but the tornado revoked that status and made it an accessible spot for the living dead's activity. Anyway, no time for talk, I need to bring you to Patrick, otherwise he'll go looking for me, which could cause more trouble than there already is. And we're in a lot of trouble.  
(Cut to another area of the marsh, where Patrick is still carrying Mr. Krabs, beginning to struggle and sweat under his weight. SpongeBob suddenly comes into Patrick's view.)  
Patrick: Any success?  
SpongeBob: It turns out I didn't have to dispatch them, someone else already did the dirty job.  
(Squidward comes forward, his broken leg trailing behind him.)  
Patrick: Look at you, you're a goddamn wreck. If you had learned the value of teamwork the same time I did, you'd probably still be walking on two legs.  
Squidward: Do you honestly think I haven't learned my lesson by now? You could at least be grateful that I'm alive, rather than continue scolding me about a past mistake.  
Patrick: That past mistake was a huge mistake though, which is slowing down our path to rescue Sandy.  
Squidward: What happened to Sandy?  
Patrick: One anomalous zombie took her when we were escaping from the invasion over at the shelter. This blood trail we're following most likely belongs to her.  
Squidward: I thought zombies just ate you on the spot, not dragged you all this distance. These zombies just keep learning more screwed-up little tricks.  
SpongeBob: I'm guessing there's some power source around here that the zombies are drawn to and are gaining inhuman strength from. The ones we just faced seemed to be more mutated than the others we've fought.  
Squidward: It seems likely. While you were at the shelter, I followed my instincts and impulsively traveled to a region further away than this, where the walkers had at least double the strength of your average-Joes, and some perplexing mutations. Extra fingers, misplaced bones, black blood... and I seem to recall one having three legs.  
Patrick: We've got black-blooded zombies here too. Maybe that 'Zombie King' Finn told us about has made its dwelling near us.  
Squidward: Zombie King?  
SpongeBob: Rumor has it that a colossal and possibly radioactive zombie lies dormant underground somewhere in Bikini Bottom, and transmits its brainwaves to the other zombies to do its bidding. It's been nicknamed the Zombie King due to its apparent influence on the zombie population.  
Squidward: Under normal circumstances, I'd dismiss that as complete bullshit. But these mutations and sudden surges of intelligence in the zombies could be uncannily pointing to that theory being a truth.  
(Mr. Krabs slowly opens his eyes, and when noticing he's in Patrick's arms, makes a violent struggle out, knocking Patrick over in the process.)  
Patrick (getting up off the ground): I think we need to head on right now, before Mr. Krabs butts in to our conversation.  
Mr. Krabs: You know, one day, you’ll look back at your actions, and you’ll regret leaving me out for everything, treating me like something lesser. (brandishes his axe) You know, I really haven’t used this much. (he holds it to Patrick’s face and shouts) Maybe you’ll learn the value of equal importance when this cuts through-  
(Squidward yanks Mr. Krabs back, who wiggles about viciously in his grip, mumbling and shouting, and takes his axe forcibly.)  
Squidward: And that is why an alcoholic, delusional pervert like you shouldn’t have equal importance. If we trust you, you’ll stab us all in the back, steal our money, and spend it on a lap dance.  
Mr. Krabs: You bastard, I deserve the right to freedom even if it kills me!  
Patrick: And even if it kills us?  
(The gang begin walking towards an exit in the marshland, Mr. Krabs far behind. Patrick is passed the axe by Squidward, and stores it in his backpack for safekeeping.)  
Squidward (to Mr. Krabs): Stay away from us, only come to us if we’re in dire need and have specifically called for you. You got that straight?  
Mr. Krabs: Okay. (pause) I just wish I could’ve proven my value to you. (he closes his eyes and we see a brief flashback to Mr. Krabs taking out a line of zombies in the second episode.) Maybe I will someday.  
(Cut to the next scene. SpongeBob and the gang, are walking down a dried-up lake, covered with congealed mud and a mix of fresh and solidified blood, with several animal corpses and skeletons dotted around it. In the middle of it, a zombie is feasting on a dead seahorse. We see a wide shot of it messily chewing on its chest, and the screen is then overtaken by a pistol, which is cocked. A pan-out shows that the gun is being held by SpongeBob, who then fires. From a distance, we see the zombie fall into a crumpled heap on the ground, next to the seahorse.)  
Squidward: We’ve come to a rough patch in our search. We’re supposed to be following one blood trail that belongs to one of our team, but this place is nothing but blood, all of which comes from animals that have been feasted on. You can’t find one trail amidst this shambles. The thing that took Sandy might not even have crossed this path!  
SpongeBob: This might be where she’s been taken actually; it seems like some type of undead feeding ground.  
Squidward: It can’t be though. Unless singular zombies have mutated towards the ability to eat dozens of animals at once, this is an impossibility. Even the small gathering you stumbled across in the marshland were of a higher number than this!  
(He is suddenly knocked off his feet by a large animal, which pounces on him. As he yells and attempts to fight it off, we can see that the beast attacking him is a zombified sea-bear.)  
SpongeBob: What the hell? (SpongeBob fires at the sea-bear three times with his pistol, but each bullet rebounds, only creating small bruises on its body. Squidward is still fighting it off, and in a struggle, he grabs its head and twists it sideways. This does not kill the bear, and even more panicked, Squidward picks up his spear and impales the sea-bear through the head with it, barely offscreen. A blood-covered, shaking Squidward pulls the spear out of the bear and returns to SpongeBob and Patrick.)  
Squidward: I don’t know what I just saw and fought. I don’t want to know what I just saw and fought. All I know, is that this Zombie King… it’s gotta be real. And if it is, it’s tailoring its zombie minions to have immunity against our attacks.  
SpongeBob: It was immune to my bullets. They just bounced off its hide.  
Squidward: If only we had Sandy here so she could provide a viable explanation for this mess. Too bad we probably won’t see her again at this rate.  
SpongeBob: I’m holding out all hope for her return, although now it is beginning to feel implausible. (his voice breaks, and he begins to speak in a sadder tone) All I know is that if she doesn’t come back, I’ll never be able to tell her what I always wanted to. I’ll never get to tell her I love her. (we see a slow pan-out across the dried-up lake, revealing its true expanse, as emotional music begins to play.)  
Patrick: How much more are you willing to search?  
SpongeBob: We search until it seems unreasonable, and that’s when we stop. You can’t dwell on the past when the future’s so far ahead.  
(The screen pans away from the gang, focusing on the many dead animals scattered around, and then it begins to zoom in on a skeletal zombie’s hand rising from a sludgy mound of dirt.)  
(Cut back to the gang.)  
Patrick (pointing ahead): There’s something up there, and it sure as hell doesn’t look friendly!  
(Cut back to the zombie, who has entirely arisen from the glutinous mire. A deformed third arm fused to both its right arm and chest flops around as it meanders slowly towards nowhere in particular, presumably catching the scent of the gang. Another cut traces back to the gang, who are readying their weapons for a frontal attack on the altered zombie. SpongeBob cocks his gun eagerly, but a thought comes to his head that makes him drop it.)  
SpongeBob: Do any of you even have the slightest feeling that who we’re about to slaughter mindlessly is not actually a zombie?  
Patrick: Anyone can tell the difference between man and beast by the way they walk. If it was one of us, they’d either be walking normally, creeping, or running. The undead… they employ a slow, almost scuttling limp.  
SpongeBob: You told me that we still had to feel remorse for the zombies, even when it was hard to… remember, at the Barg ‘n’ Mart? Whatever you do, don’t get desensitized. You’re not exactly showing that in your actions, are you? Every time you kill one or see one slaughtered before you, you take glee in the brutality.  
Patrick: I said we shouldn’t – that doesn’t mean we wouldn’t. Mostly everyone we know and love is dead… it’s hard not to be a little unhinged.  
Squidward: It’s surprising we’ve actually kept any of our composure after some of what we saw. Think about what it’s like to be trapped in the middle of a forest, a bear trap restraining your every movement, causing excruciating pain with every muscle you move, and all the while, zombies crowd around you, eager to pick you to the bone. I lived through that, and it traumatized me. Just put yourself in my, Patrick’s, or even Krabs’ shoes, and you’ll see why we do things like we do.  
Patrick: Now let’s kill this fucker and get it over with.  
(SpongeBob cocks his gun, grimacing, and fires rapidly at the gray, groaning figure. Quickly, the screen cuts to the zombie, who screeches like a pained bird as blood sprays from its chest. SpongeBob shuts one eye, and concentrates his aim. When he finally makes the choice to fire, the zombie makes a vast leap, putting itself in clear view of the gang, who back away. Patrick, his axe swinging slowly in a circular motion, sprints towards the zombie, and from a long shot, we see him thrust the weapon into its skull. Droplets of blood hit the screen. Nearly dead, the zombie drops limply and flimsily to the ground, but then it begins to virulently cough. SpongeBob and Squidward crowd around it as it begins to spasm and convulse.)  
Patrick (retching): The Zombie King’s definitely worked his magic on this poor guy.  
Squidward: My God, look at that third arm. It appears to be entirely superfluous, but a clear post-virus mutation.  
Patrick: What’s with the coughing and convulsing?  
SpongeBob: I think it’s got something in its… (retches) throat.  
(The zombie makes an extremely powerful final cough, expelling a greenish saliva and a dampened, diminished piece of paper, and also killing it in the process.)  
SpongeBob: Oh my God… what the hell? This is beyond any kind of explanation.  
(Squidward picks up the paper while wincing, salivation sliding onto his hand.)  
Squidward: The writing on here’s entirely indecipherable, and the fact that the page is covered in bodily fluids exacerbates things even further. If any of you can even pick up select words from here, it might greatly help us.  
(SpongeBob squints and looks at the page, his eyes trailing down it. Patrick pushes SpongeBob gently aside, taking his turn to look for intelligible words.)  
Patrick: One of the words appears to be “sacrifice”. We can work around that. But why would a zombie carry a piece of paper inside it in the first place?  
Squidward: Mutations don’t just physically affect the host, you know. They can also be benefited or impaired mentally. It may be that an undead right at the height of this Zombie King’s power has written a message, then sent a messenger to deploy it. Although I wouldn’t call this poor sucker a messenger. (he kicks the corpse) He seems more in common with a drug mule.  
(We see Mr. Krabs, slumped down in the distance)  
SpongeBob: Krabs, you can come back here. We need all the eyes we can to decipher this text.  
(Mr. Krabs walks forward, unconvinced, in the direction of the gang. His way is blocked by a dead worm, which he pushes away from him.)  
Mr. Krabs: I don’t know why the hell you’d need me to help you read something, drink’s practically made me blind.  
Squidward: Just be grateful we’re letting you help us, and that we didn’t leave you to the zombies as an offering.  
SpongeBob: Squidward!  
Squidward: What? Krabs has no purpose other than to crack sex jokes at the least opportune moments, attempt to kill us over petty disagreements, and yell about how he wants alcohol. God forbid if he ever gets into drugs...  
Mr. Krabs: How about we pack the note away so we can work out what it says later? Holding us up will only get us eaten.  
Patrick: This note here could prove vital in our effort to save Sandy, seeming as it comes from the same branch of zombie intelligence as the one that took her away, or maybe an even higher one. If we don’t find out what it says as soon as we can, we could have screwed up majorly.  
Mr. Krabs: Why don’t we just leave this pointless venture behind? I can assure you she’s already dead.  
SpongeBob: Patrick, Squidward and I are trying our hardest to persevere in finding Sandy, and then you just sit there and make snide comments about her possible death? You really don’t care about anyone but yourself, do you?  
Mr. Krabs: I lost everything I cared about.  
(We see a very wide shot of the withered lake, as the sun descends and night falls. We see an emaciated zombie stood bolt upright on a rock, howling and frothing at the mouth. The gang walk past it solemnly, and SpongeBob glances away from it as he fires his gun at its head. The darkness makes many of the details hard to discern as the zombie lets out a final guttural roar and crumples to the ground. Patrick is still holding the note, and has managed to decrypt a good amount more of it)  
Patrick: “In cave will sacrifice. Vermin perish…” Can anybody see a cave around here? Somebody, pass me the binoculars.  
(Mr. Krabs fumbles through his backpack, and gives Patrick his binoculars. Patrick fixes them around his eyes, and we see through his point of view as more formations around the lake become visible, including a rocky crevice around northwest. The screen returns to its normal view of the characters, as Patrick takes his binoculars off and returns them to Mr. Krabs.)  
Mr. Krabs: Have you seen anything?  
Patrick: Yes, there’s a cave northwest. Judging by the note, this is where we’re supposed to go.  
Squidward: But are you sure this isn’t just another false lead?  
Patrick: “Vermin” generally means an animal considered a pest, and judging by what I’ve heard about what goes on above the sea from Sandy, squirrels are often counted as pests. And, plus, even if this isn’t where she is, we’ll still be able to find out more about the zombies and their sudden surge in intelligence.  
SpongeBob: So the zombies are doing sacrifices now… how does that even work? How can a brain that’s rotted so much know how to perform a sacrifice? And to who?  
Patrick: (pause) The Zombie King. He’s obviously a lot closer than we think. Come to think of it, he could even be in that cave.  
SpongeBob: So, do you think it would be beyond our better judgment to go to the cave?  
Patrick: I say that it’s okay to take some chances when you’re in a dire situation. We should quit stalling and head there right now.  
(They begin to travel northwest, Squidward visibly terrified, and Mr. Krabs walking slowly. Time elapses to dawn, and the gang are still walking. The cave is visible in the background, and appears to be surrounded by zombies. The gang are chatting about SpongeBob’s newfound declaration of love for Sandy.)  
Patrick: It’s gotta be hard for you, SpongeBob. We’re all struggling to deal with it, but it must be a lot worse for you.  
SpongeBob: Yeah, the old saying “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone” really applies here. Hopefully, she’s just temporarily gone… I don’t know what I’d do without her. A lot of these things I’ve been agreeing to do recently, like coming with you to stop a zombie sacrifice, I wouldn’t be willing to do in any normal situation. Love makes you do crazy things.  
Mr. Krabs: But, anyway… a squirrel and a sponge? Isn’t that bestiality?  
Squidward: I don’t see you hiring any crustacean prostitutes.  
Mr. Krabs: At least I have the nerve to do it with sea creatures. If Sandy still lives, and she agrees to this relationship, it will be way outside nature’s law.  
SpongeBob: I care about Sandy for reasons far beyond sex. I’ve been great friends with her all my life, and our friendship’s built up to the point where we need to make a deeper connection.  
Squidward: I say you should go for it, no matter how wrong Mr. Krabs thinks it is. I can only applaud you for pursuing love in these dark times.  
Patrick: Cave’s just up ahead.  
(The gang tiptoe in the direction of the cave and slowly pull out their weapons. We can see the cave clearly now – it is partly buried in the muddy ground, dark gray rock stretching upwards to form an entrance in the cave. Stalactites and stalagmites cover the area inside the entrance, and two trails of blood pass through it. Around a dozen zombies, some mutated, crowd around the entrance, seemingly guarding it. They do not seem to notice the presence of the characters, until a morbidly obese zombie missing an arm turns around and sees Patrick, who is leading the group to the cave. He roars angrily and the other zombies follow suit; they all move towards Patrick, who pulls out his axe and buries it in the overweight zombie’s shoulder. It gets stuck in as blood trickles down.)  
Patrick: Dammit! (to the group) Stay back!  
(Patrick finally pulls the axe out, blood splattering on his face. The camera pans out to show the group, weapons in hand, looking on, and slowly stepping further back as he hits the zombie on the back with the axe, the blow slightly masked by Squidward’s spear. As the zombie falls to the ground, we then cut back to a close shot of Patrick and the downed zombie. Patrick closes his eyes and grits his teeth as he crushes the zombie’s head with his boot – we do not see the impact, but lots of blood sprays up. The other zombies, who are further behind, suddenly stop moving as the overweight zombie dies, and then ferociously charge at the four, knocking Squidward back. A putrefied, almost bright green zombie latches onto Squidward’s arm and gets ready to take a bite – he is stopped by one of SpongeBob’s bullets travelling into its head. Blood drips down from the zombie’s chin as it topples down. The camera moves away to show that Mr. Krabs is unarmed and struggling to fend off three zombies.)  
Mr. Krabs: Help me! I don’t have any weapons! (Patrick runs to Mr. Krabs, and gives him his axe back. Mr. Krabs breathes a sigh of relief as he thrusts his axe into a deformed zombie’s head just off-screen.) Thank you!  
Patrick: No problem, it’s time you got back what was yours.  
(Patrick, now unarmed, runs further away, looks to the floor and scavenges for potential weaponry to use against the undead chasing him. He sees a dead sea-bear with its ribcage exposed and reaches down. We hear a cracking sound, and Patrick holds his hand up to reveal he’s holding a sharp bone, taken from the sea-bear. A zombie dashes in his direction, and he looks in its eyes. The zombie grits its teeth and growls, and then, from a distance, we see Patrick impaling the zombie through the head with the bone. Squidward has several zombies around him, and is exerting himself to kill them, despite his broken leg. As he pulls his spear out of the chest of a zombie that appears to have four legs, the force of the pull sends the zombie flying several feet in the air, killing it upon landing. SpongeBob shoots two zombies in the head, as blood sprays from their heads, and realizes too late that another wave of zombies is emerging from the cave’s entrance. The group are circled and decide to quickly make a run inside the cave. They kick and push zombies back as they go. After some struggling, the gang reach the inside of the cave, which is very dark and damp.)  
SpongeBob: Glad we got out of that one. Do you think we’ll be able to survive any more?  
Squidward: Maybe you, but not me. I was completely overpowered by those things – my broken leg didn’t help. Neither did the fact that all of them could run at inhuman speeds.  
Patrick: Yeah, they also seemed to have a very strong pack mentality going on. We need to keep going, until the zombies outside realize where we’ve gone.  
(Silence. Suddenly, a roaring zombie appears out of the dark next to Patrick, and the gang simultaneously scream, as SpongeBob instinctively shoots it in the face. It slumps down, as Patrick breathes a sigh of relief. They continue wading through the dark depths of the cave entrance, until they see a slightly lit opening.)  
Squidward: You think this is where the sacrifices are held?  
(Patrick peers in, and we see through the slit, dozens of zombies crowding around two large mounds of mud, each with a person bound to them with vines. One is Larry the Lobster, who is cut and bloody, yelling for help, and the other is…)  
Patrick: (whispering, terrified) They’ve got Sandy down there. (he breaks down crying) I don’t even know what they’re doing. She’s with Larry the Lobster. They’re both tied up.  
SpongeBob: Are they alive?  
Patrick: Yes, they are. But there are so many zombies down there… at least fifty.  
Squidward: We’ll be completely overpowered. We either let them die, or we die trying to save them.  
SpongeBob: I vote for the latter.  
Mr. Krabs: I don’t.  
Patrick: I’m with SpongeBob.  
Squidward: I’m morally conflicted. I’m not ready to die… I’m not ready to watch my friends die either.  
SpongeBob: The majority vote is that we go down there and at least try to save Larry and Sandy. (he sheds a tear) We can do this.  
Patrick: If we die, we die as heroes.  
Squidward: Okay.  
(Mr. Krabs hesitates for a second, and then nods. SpongeBob is the first to jump down, and the rest go down together. The zombies are distracted from the sacrifice, and race towards the group. The scene turns to slow-motion as SpongeBob stands in the corner, rapidly firing his gun, trying to slay as many zombies as possible while keeping his emotional composure. We see four zombies go down, blood splattering. Mr. Krabs is spared most of the attention from the zombies, and hits one in the head with an axe, the darkness obscuring the gory detail. Patrick fights off a zombie with his bone, but is quickly overpowered by a large number of zombies trying to grab him. Squidward sees the zombies attacking Patrick and screams in horror as he tries to break through the horde and rescue Patrick. He jabs a zombie in the head with a spear, catching another on the spear too. Patrick kicks a zombie to the ground and impales it with the bone – blood pools on the floor. The speed of the scene returns to normal, as we see Larry and Sandy on the sacrificial mounds. They notice noise from behind them and turn their heads around to the best of their ability. Sandy is the first to notice SpongeBob shooting the zombies in his path. She calls out for his aid.)  
Sandy: SpongeBob!  
(As he exasperatedly runs to her, Patrick is still holding on, and aims for the legs of a small zombie, but hits the ground instead. Strangely, when he pulls the bone out, blood sprays from the dirt. The zombies stop in horror, and Patrick runs away, shocked by what he just saw. Two zombies bend down to patch up the ground, and the rest stand and watch.)  
Patrick: What the hell was that?  
(Cut to the sacrificial mounds. SpongeBob stands next to Larry and Sandy, and picks up a small but sharp piece of debris from the ground.)  
Sandy: Thank God you’re here. You have no idea how terrified I’ve been the past day, tied up here, trapped without food or water.  
Larry: Do you have anything that you can cut us down with?  
SpongeBob: I found this on the ground.  
(SpongeBob severs the vines with the sharpened piece of rock slowly but surely, while a wave of zombies gradually advance on him. Sandy is cut down first and then Larry. They both get up limply, cleaning the various cuts on their body, and SpongeBob turns around, happy with himself, only to realize around a dozen zombies are pursuing him. He becomes frozen in terror, and a zombie puts its hand on his head.)  
Larry: No!  
(In agony, but valiantly, Larry jumps towards the zombie attacking SpongeBob, and crushes its head with one of his claws. The zombie goes limp as Larry releases his bloodstained claw from its head. He then drags SpongeBob away towards a crack in the rock around them, groaning in pain as he runs.)  
SpongeBob: W-what are you doing?  
Larry: There’s a shortcut over here, the walkers don’t usually bother with it.  
(Sandy trails not far behind, when suddenly she has a realization.)  
Sandy: If SpongeBob’s here, then that must mean the rest of the gang are here too! We need to get to them quickly, before somethin’ bad happens to them! (She stands just out of reach of the zombies and shouts for the rest of the group) Squidward! Patrick! Krabs!  
(Squidward and Patrick are observing the pack of zombies attempting to fix the hole in the ground, while Mr. Krabs is standing next to four dead zombies, a fifth coming his way. They hear Sandy’s voice and all of them run to the mounds. Squidward quickly spears a decayed zombie missing its bottom half in the head while he runs.)  
Sandy: Come on, quick! There’s no time! We need to get out of here pronto!  
(She helps the three climb the mounds and escape a small wave of zombies advancing their way. Patrick and Squidward look shocked, whereas Mr. Krabs seems pleased with himself. SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Krabs, Larry and Sandy walk in unison towards the crack in the cave wall)  
Patrick: You won’t believe what I saw just then…  
Sandy: What was it?  
Patrick: I was trying to fend off a wave of zombies, and accidentally stabbed the ground by accident. Blood poured out of the ground, and the zombies – they just stopped. They all ran over to the ground, like it was an injured friend, and tried to patch up the hole.  
Squidward: You know what that means? We just came face-to-face with the goddamn Zombie King.  
Sandy: Jesus Christ…  
(The group are next to the crack in the cave wall. Larry squeezes himself in first, and the rest go in one by one, Squidward going last.)  
SpongeBob: I can’t believe you’re alive! I’ve never been so worried in my life.  
Sandy: And I’ve never been so thankful. I would have died without you.  
SpongeBob: Trying to get by without your resilience and knowledge in the middle of nowhere made me realize how much I take for granted. I’ll never let this happen again. (pause) It also made me realize that I love you.  
Sandy: Really? I can’t ask anything more from the person who saved my life. That, in itself, was enough of a gesture of love.  
(Mr. Krabs shakes his head)  
Larry: Say, if you want a place to hide from the freaks, there’s a boarded-off sector of Bikini Bottom not too far from this cave. I’ve heard stories about it, and apparently there’s only been one recorded zombie break-in. Many of the survivors from the shelter that was destroyed moved over there. Do you think we should make that our next destination?  
Patrick: Sounds like a good idea.  
(After some walking, they see the exit to the cave, the final image of the episode is the gang standing towards the very bright light of the exit.)  
(End of episode.)


End file.
